Homestuck Romantically Confuse Everyone
by Arashi Morinozuka
Summary: Human Stuck! Seven students that are recently attending MSPA High, and almost everyone has someone special. Except Kaiden, so after one little mishap, Dave Strider, resident cool kid decides to help.


My parents always believed I would become something great, something they could be proud of. I thought I would too. I studied hard in school, I passed my subjects, I acted accordingly, I didn't cause trouble, and I made trustworthy friends. Annalise, Saito, Shadow, Sonic, Yanno, and Kenji. Sure, they were a bit crazy. However, they cared for me, and I cared for them.

Then we reached high school.

We still are the bestest of friends. We didn't get into drugs or anything. Just, some of us got into relationships. Yanno and Kenji started dating each other. Saito found this charming, yet dangerous, guy named Dirk. Shadow seemed to fall in love with this lispy boy, Sollux? Sonic had a crush on this drug addict named Gamzee. Annalise started to get attached to Tavros, a wheelchair bound sweetheart. I was the only single one left.

I'm not hideous, by what Annalise and Sonic keep telling me. I do get multiple girls telling me they like me. I haven't got a clue really. I don't talk to many people, only the people in my little group and their boyfriends. So I don't know how I got the attention of these girls.

Saito gave me a possible answer.

"Seriously Kai?! You are one smoking piece of ass! If I wasn't so devoted and in love with Dirk, I would've jumped you by now!" Both me and Dirk rose a eyebrow at that statement.

But I was used to it. Saito was a bit crazy. Anyways, like I said. I'm not hideous, and I get the attention of this many girls, and you're probably wondering why I'm still single. Simple, I don't have time for relationships. Between studying, homework, hanging out with the others, and they just didn't interest me. I wasn't a hormonal train wreck. I hadn't even had my first, uh, kiss yet. I never even had a wet dream.

So yeah, go me.

Annalise, the purist of the group, assured me that I didn't need to be in a relationship. However, Sonic insisted I needed to go on a date. Gamzee hung on her shoulders as she petted his hair.

"Seriously Kai-Kai. Being in a relationship is amazing. You have someone to be your personal pet/slave!"

"I thought you used Shadow as a slave?"

"Eh, he never did anything I told him to do."

I shook my head at her. Gamzee perked up.

"Hey motherfucker, I got someone for you. He's a little angry, but he's adorable. His name is Karkat."

After Gamzee told me about Karkat, Sonic demanded that I meet up with him.

Somehow, the girl who should be in a mental asylum, found the short boy. He seemed to be in a heated argument with two boys. One had black hair, and blue eyes. His most notable feature was his buck teeth. The other one had blonde, nearly white hair, and was wearing shades. Karkat himself had white hair, and red eyes, an albino.

"Goddammit Dave! Leave me alone! I need to get to class!" Karkat struggled against 'Dave'. Dave smirked.

"No way Karkles. I didn't get what I deserve last night."

Karkat blushed an dark crimson. Blue eyes laughed. "Shut it John!"

Gamzee honked? All three boys turned towards him.

"Hey motherfuckers! Karbro, I found someone for you to dump that cool kid douche."

Karkat blushed even darker. Dave seemed to glare at me. I backed up slightly.

"Gamzee, I never said I wanted to date anyone. Besides, he already has a boyfriend. I'm not going to break a relationship up." I quickly tried to amend between the angry juggelo and Dave. Both glared at me to shut up. I sighed.

"Shut the fuck up you druggy. Karkat can date whoever he wants. You have no say in this matter." Dave stated. Gamzee snarled.

"Yo motherfucker. I knew Karbro way before you met him. I do have a say in this. I think Kaibro here is perfect for Karbro." The clown retorted.

Dave grabbed Karkat's arm, gently. The cool kid led Karkat to somewhere else. John, I think, just stared at me. He had a strange blush on his face.

I knew I was staring. I knew I was blushing. He was just so... Hot. No! John! You have a girlfriend! You and Vriska have been together since fifth grade! You are not attracted to a boy you don't even know! That's what I kept telling myself after the small argument Gamzee and Dave had.

Dave was silently fuming beside me. "I can't believe that fucking clown. 'I know what's best. I knew him longer. Blah blah blah..." Dave muttered to himself. I snickered. Dave smacked my shoulder, which kind of hurt.

"Dave, don't hit John." Rose reprimanded the Strider. Dave let out a sound of discontent. Wow, big words.

"Well excuse me. Egderp here was laughing at me from my romantic situation. That asshole of a clown is trying to break me and Karkat up." Dave grumbled out to his twin. Rose rose an eyebrow.

"How so?"

"Trying to set up this hot asshole," I cut in. "Dave, you do realize he wasn't interested and how he didn't want to break you two up?" Dave blinked.

"He did?"

"He did." I confirmed.

"Oh, anyways. Gamzee tells me he knew Karkat best and all that, and I got pissed."

Rose looked intrigued. "Who was the boy?"

Dave and I shrugged. "He looked Japanese, and in our grade."

"That narrows it down to seventeen people."

"We didn't know him."

"Twelve people."

"Gamzee called him Kaibro."

"Ah. So his name starts with 'Kai'."

Dave nodded. Somebody's head spun towards us. His eyes are multicolored, like a rainbow. He looked confused.

"Are you guys talking about Kai-Kai?"

"Who's that?"

"Kaiden Kurosaki? One of the smartest students here? My best friend?"

Dave stood up, scaring the hell out of rainbow. "Who are you?"

"Saito Kanogewa. Your brother's boyfriend. Duh."

"Bro had a boyfriend? The fuck?"

"I was over one day. You saw us make-out!"

Dave just stood there. "Just take me to Kaiden."

I sat in the library, reading a book about mythology. It was quite interesting. Shadow was across from me, reading on his phone. Annalise somehow had a coloring book and was coloring in that. Y'know for a high school, this school doesn't actually enforce their supposed 'rules'. I think we barely have class. I must be in a fictional school. Joy.

Well, it works for the plot.

Anyways, the three of us were enjoying the precious silence, because we knew it would end soon. Not to foreshadow, but with a Sonic and a Saito, it's kind of hard to find a quiet moment. Y'know, we haven't seen Kenji or Yanno at all...

Oh well.

Sure enough, it was interrupted. However, it was interrupted by a certain cool kid, a buck teeth person, and Saito. Also with a female.

"You!" Dave pointed at me. I looked at him. Shadow raised a brow in suspicion.

"Aw, did widdle Kai Kai get into trouble?" He smirked. "What'd you do?"

I shrugged.

"Dave, calm down. Why are we here again?" The female reasoned. I liked her. Annalise giggled.

"Kaiden did something naughty!"

"Did you finally get a date? Or did you kiss someone's babe? Aw Kaiden! I'm so happy for you!" Shadow chuckled. I blushed lightly.

"You know I don't have time for that kind of stuff!"

"Listen. You know me and Karkat are dating, and I'm glad you took my side. Gamzee didn't have the right to do that. But I noticed that if you're desperate to have Gamzee help you get a date, I might as well help you." Dave explained. Shadow and Annalise nodded, but I rejected the offer.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not concerned with relationships at the moment."

I left the library, but Dave followed. He threw out names of people who are single. I grew irritated.

"Listen. I appreciate the amount of care you put in this, but I can't see myself in a relationship with anyone. I'm sorry." I gritted out, speeding up in hopes of losing him.

Lucky for me, he stopped following me.

I stood there, staring after Kaiden. What? Who doesn't want to be in a relationship? That's every teens' dream. Even nerds like Kaiden want to be in a relationship.

John caught up.

"Where's Kaiden?"

"Somewhere."

"Did he pick someone?"

"No. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship, at all."

Hey guys! It's me! Bad news. Y'know that story I was originally writing? Well, I broke my IPad, which held it. I couldn't save it to another document, so it's lost. Sorry to those following me for that. I decided to write this instead, but I'm pretty sure I screwed a few characters up. I also need help with who Kaiten would date.


End file.
